Show Up & Complete

When I first noticed the line "show up & complete" on a friends exercise blog I thought "what a great motto". After reflecting on this past weekend's events however, I now see the true depth of what the phrase "show up and complete" implies.

On Saturday half a dozen friends completed the Patriot Half Ironman in E. Freetown, MA. While volunteering at the finish I was amazed by the dedication, courage and tenacity of all the finishers. Whether it was in 5 hours or 7, all successfully completed the 1.2 mile swim, 56 mile bike and 13.1 mile run. Relief, pain and joy was written on their faces as they crossed the finish line. With only a sparse crowd to cheer them and no notoriety or prizes to receive, all completed their races for the sheer sense of accomplishment that finishing brings. They had already shown up for countless miles on the bike, long training runs and laps of the pool. Now they could take pride in completing 70.3 miles of hard racing.

The following day, Father's Day, I reflected on my husband's role as a supportive and caring father to our two daughters. Whether it is showing up for years of riding lessons, school assemblies, or last minute homework help sessions, he is always there. While "show up" sounds simple, it is more than just a physical presence. Showing up implies being there mentally, emotionally and physically. As all parents know, being present while also scanning emails on your Blackberry won't cut it with the kids. They have an innate ability to detect whether you are really there for them, and will let you know when you are slacking. I am fortunate to have someone who always shows up completely.

To do a task well, daily effort, attention and personal investment are needed. Any triathlete will tell you that half-hearted workouts and unfocused training, no matter how many times you show up, won't get you to the finish. Longer races like a 70.3, quickly sort those who have been fully present in their training from those who have been merely "showing up" very quickly. Getting to complete takes mental as well as physical toughness in triathlon, something which my friends showed in abundance on Saturday. This sense of accomplishment carries through to their daily lives in many ways, whether dealing with complicated family issues or difficult jobs, they know they have the ability to push through obstacles and get what needs to be completed, done.

Some jobs like parenting, are never truly completed, just taken one day, age or stage at a time. Just as many athletes are looking toward their next event almost as soon as they cross the finish, success in any arena means always striving to complete the next day, phase or race better than the last. In racing as in life, this weekend taught me that all you need to do is show up and complete.

Real Food?

"Eat real food", Michael Pollen's advice seems reasonable and makes sense in terms of following a healthier diet. Real food is food that mostly looks like it's constituent parts. Vegetables, fruits, meats and grains are all real foods. Real foods don't require an ingredient label because they really don't have ingredients, they just are what they are. If a food does have ingredients, a real food has recognizable and pronounceable ingredients and not many of them either.

So what did I have for lunch today? Soy Protein Isolate, Chicory Syrup, Brown Rice Syrup, Evaporated Cane Juice, Palm Kernel Oil, Rolled Oats, Almond Butter, the list goes on, and on. My Builder's Bar is touted as "The Entirely Natural Protein Bar" but I don't think it really qualifies as real food.

Why was I eating this for lunch? Because I once again got involved in a project and didn't leave myself time to eat and get to my next appointment. My choice of lunch might have been better than something from a fast food outlet but after the soy protein the next three ingredients are all just fancy organic names for sugar and the next after that is fat. For the sake of brevity I didn't list the large number of vitamins and minerals that were also added to my bar in an attempt to make it "healthy", but I'm sure you can imagine it also went on and on.

In all fairness these bars are not intended to be a meal replacement, and my using it as such is just because I ran out of time. It does however reinforce two issues. The first is the fact that eating real food takes time. Time to shop, time to prep and time to cook. If I am committed to healthy eating I need to make the time to actually do it.

The second issue is that there are far more industrially created food-like options out there than real food. Add as many ingredients as you want, natural or not, they still aren't food, and they still are not as satisfying as real food. The natural foods folks would like us to believe that these products are somehow better for us, yet they have the same high sweetness and fat content as other convenience foods. These products are just as designed and manufactured as the stuff in the next aisle, it's just labeled and marketed to a different niche.

Tomorrow, if I want to have a lunch with plenty of protein, carbohydrates and lots of vitamins and minerals, I think I'll have some soup and maybe a sandwich. I just need to make the time.

The Stealth Holiday Season

To date entries on this blog have reflected my thoughts and opinions regarding what I am reading, studying or thinking about. They have not been about me. Granted what I think or read does reflect me to some degree, I have found that I often don't post entries because I don't have the energy to polish something up to present.

I have decided to change it up by posting more of my own struggles to maintain my health and achieve some sense of balance in my life, rather than the theory of how it should work. Theory is good but it is practice that gets us where we want to go.

I have not posted for almost a month. During that time my daughter has returned from her first year of college and there have been numerous family and other social events. I think that May-June is a sort of stealth version of Thanksgiving to New Years. Although there are no big holidays, there are innumerable opportunities to eat and socialize. Between graduations, weddings, anniversaries and just general thank God winter is over celebrations, it is hard to stay on track with an exercise plan and healthy eating. The lone spring holiday, Memorial Day, is an opportunity for food even if the "first" picnic requires a fleece vest for comfort.

I feel as though I have not been regularly exercising and definitely not eating well for over a month. I haven't had so many baked goods since Christmas. And my mood hasn't been this low in a long time. On looking back at my training calendar I was surprised to see what a clear connection there was. So today I got out there for a run, and yesterday I worked hard in spin class. My outlook is better and I feel like I am back on the right road if not actually moving forward. Thank goodness for new days.

Women's Health Week

May 10th, Mother's Day, kicked off National Women's Health Week. This event is sponsored by the US Department of Health and Human Services' Office on Women's Health and is designed to promote disease prevention and regular health screening as a means to improve women's health. The theme for the week is "It's Your Time!" and encourages all women to make time for themselves. Caring for yourself is the first step in caring for others.

Today is National Women's Checkup Day. Available at the HHS website are several tools to determine what screenings and immunizations are recommended for women depending on their age and health history. There is also a checklist which allows women to better prepare themselves for the next checkup along with a Checkup Day Pledge.

Take care of yourself. For more information visit:

• The National Women's Health Week website is here
  
• A screening tool for recommended tests and immunizations is here
• Take the Checkup Day pledge here
• Prepare for your checkup here

Be well.

Happiness

In his book, Authentic Happiness, Martin Seligman has many suggestions for improving one's happiness. As we pause to celebrate Mother's Day I thought some of his suggestions were particularly pertinent.

In referring to the past Seligman points out that "insufficient appreciation and savoring of the good events in your past and overemphasis of the bad ones are the two culprits that undermine serenity, contentment, and satisfaction." As we celebrate our families of origin remember the smiles and laughter. Possessing gratitude for the love and care others have shown allows us to look back on our past in a way that enhances our present happiness. Being thankful is not just a platitude but a strategy that promotes happiness.

Living mindfully in the present can also help us live more happily. As we quickly move about our day we are often focused on the future; what we have to do next, where we have to be in an hour, what is due tomorrow, and take little time to savor the present. Today was the first truly sunny day of the month. The flowering trees and shrubs of southern New England were in their glory. The lovely scent of lilacs and viburnam wafted through the air. In places a snowfall of petals lined the streets and driveways. I took a few moments to walk the neighborhood and really look at the flowers and appreciate the colors and smells. Savoring, fully appreciating, the gift that spring is after the long gray months of winter.

Happy Mother's Day!

No is a Complete Sentence

No is a complete sentence. This is a note I had written down during a lecture I attended last year. I ran across it today while reviewing some papers and as it did then, it struck a chord with me today. As the weather warms it seems that our To Do List and the demands on our time heat up too.

It is fun to volunteer at out children's schools or meet with friends, but when these activities become chores rather than fun it might be time to say no. As well, taking on spring household and landscape projects can be rewarding but when these projects take up all of our free time it might be time to say no again.

Saying no doesn't have to come with an apology or an explanation. Just say no. No, I am not able to do that right now. No, I can't make it. No, thank you.

The next time a request comes your way, really decide if you have the time and energy to take on the activity or project. Figure in how much time it will entail, including prep time, travel time and the actual time doing the project or activity. Decide if you genuinely want to participate. If you decide to participate, you can move forward knowing you will be able to do so fully. If you decide not to participate just say no. In doing so, you can save yourself the stress and anxiety of committing to something you do not want to do or do not have time to do.

Just remember, No is a complete sentence.

Keep Your Power

During several conversations over the past few weeks people have fretted and apologized to me about eating. They confess that they were "bad", that they ate the "wrong" foods. There seems to be an underlying fear that someone, somewhere, will hold them accountable for these transgressions and they will be punished.

Studies have shown that we make over 200 food related decisions a day. It's not just what's for dinner- it's eggs scrambled or over, white or whole wheat toast, orange or cranberry juice, coffee with cream or milk, is that milk whole, 2%, skim or soy? You get the drift. If you are making that many decisions a day there are bound to be a few that get a little off track. The idea then is to keep the vast majority of them, 80% or more on track. Whether for weight loss or maintaining good health, eating healthy foods in moderation will get you where you want to go.

Yes it is true that one decision, let's say to eat an entire bag of chips, will slow your weight loss plans, but does that make you a bad person? Does it make sense to feel you should be punished? This kind of thinking gives food more power than it deserves. It is only food. Despite what we think sometimes, food cannot actually talk. The only power food has is that which we give it.

Unfortunately there is a tendency to punish these poor food choices with more "bad" food. The thinking runs "if I've already blown it what's one more ...." This is actually abdicating further thoughtful decision making and not thinking at all. In this scenario food is given power over all our food related decisions without actually uttering a word.

So what if that bag of chips could talk, what would it say? Maybe something like "enough already, go out for a walk", or "wow, you seem stressed, go relax in the yard". You probably wouldn't hear "you are a really bad person". What you eat may reflect your emotional state, but it doesn't define your character. Keep the power on your side.

Greener Grass

While in my garden today I was listening to the many sounds around the neighborhood. Dogs barking, my neighbor happily whistling while he moved mulch and the many lawnmowers humming as the newly green grass got its first cut of the season. I got me thinking about a comparison I recently saw between a convenient and inconvenient lifestyle.

The convenient lifestyle relied on the more obvious choices such as taking the elevator, parking in the closest spot and using the remote. Some additional conveniences I hadn't thought about before included using a cordless phone, frequenting drive-throughs, using the internet to shop and hiring lawn and house cleaning services. While it may not seem like much, walking to answer the phone and then standing while talking; or getting up to change the television settings can add up to more calories burned each day. In the study cited the total effect of living an inconvenient life for a month was about 10,000 extra calories burned, enough for a 2 -3 pound weight loss.

In these difficult economic times mowing your lawn, washing your car and cleaning your house are jobs that cannot be easily expensed out to someone else. Isn't it nice to know that it may also help you improve your health?

The Elephant in the Room, Part II

Yesterday I posted about the tension that can arise between friends when one changes their lifestyle. I am sure that some friendships have fallen by the wayside after someone decides that they cannot continue to eat, drink or live in a way that is basically unhealthy. While no one wants to sacrifice a friendship, sometimes the price is too high to continue with such a relationship. Within a family however, the problem can be even more difficult. What are the costs to our relationships and to yourselves of not living in a manner that promotes our own health and wellbeing?

Last week on the Biggest Loser, Michael spoke to his father (Ron) about how he could have let his children become so obese. Michael spoke of his frustration and anger about the situation. Unfortunately, Ron really didn't have much to say besides "you have every right to be upset". This really doesn't answer the question of how could he have let this happen? I have heard similar stories from others about their tendency not to criticize their family members about their unhealthy lifestyles. Keeping the peace seems to take precedence over pushing issues related to unhealthy behaviors.

This seems especially true when it comes to our children. As parents we are often counseled to avoid criticism or anything that will undermine a child's self esteem. The critical parent is often portrayed as overly controlling and overly concerned with the image of their children as an extension of themselves. While this characterization might have merit in some circumstances, when it come to weight and lifestyle issues, ignoring a child's burgeoning weight problem and lack of exercise is only setting them off on the path to ill health and disease.

When the child involved is still young there is always the expectation that they will "grow into their weight" or they are just "big boned". While I believe that dieting is a concept which should remain foreign to a child, parents are still the final arbitrators of the food that enters the home. Parents should strive to provide healthy foods for their children and not succumb to the pressure to provide high fat, high sugar treats because the children want them or "deserve" them. I am not aware of any child who was harmed by a lack of Little Debbies. Moderation and responsibility are the keys in this younger age group.

Teenagers and young adults however, present a further level of complication. Again as parents we have been counseled and quite literally preached at, regarding the unrealistic body images promulgated by today's media. We are constantly warned about the dangers of eating disorders and societal pressures to be thin. Yet the most recent health data show obesity levels on average at 16% for American youth, with some populations running even higher. Ignoring this elephant in the room is a disservice to our children. So what is a parent to do?

While being a good role model is a great place to start, it is going to take more than that to see behavior change in teenagers. Banning of junk food and becoming the first lieutenant of the food police will only lead to resentment and the potential for excess consumption when out of the house. By broaching the subject of overweight or unhealthy eating in a nonjudgmental but never the less honest fashion, a parent may gain some insight into what the teen is thinking, what they understand to be true and they may also learn what the teen has already tried in an attempt to lose weight. Asking a young adult if they would like to change and where they would like to start, allows them to remain in control but also opens an opportunity to provide assistance and guidance.

If the teen has no interest in making changes to their lifestyle, a discussion of the family's known health history and an offer of support in the future along with keeping healthy foods available may be all a parent can do. For those requesting assistance allowing this to be the child's journey, and supporting them while they find what works for them is key. Reversing a lifestyle of poor eating and inactivity will take many starts and stops and the path chosen may not always be the one a parent might choose for themselves. While there is a responsibility to avoid harm, a parent must otherwise sit back a bit and let the teen figure out what is meaningful and doable for them. By being open to looking at a problem in a new way we as parents might also learn a thing or two from our children.

The first step however starts with having the courage to talk. Let your teen or young adult know that you love them and worry that the path they have chosen will lead them into an unhealthy future. Offer your assistance and support in a way that does not blame or shame and let them decide what to do next. Just don't ignore this elephant - in the end it makes a very big mess.

The Elephant in the Room

While I refer to the metaphorical elephant, the obvious problem that everyone is trying to overlook; it is not a totally inappropriate image. As someone who cares about my health and tries to follow a healthy lifestyle combining good nutrition and daily exercise, how do I overlook the lifestyles of others. As a wellness coach and health educator I am happy to share ideas and problem solve with those who seek my help. My difficulty comes in my interactions with friends and family. How do I discuss their weight or unhealthy behaviors? Is it any of my business? Should I just keep quiet and look the other way?

With friends and extended family my strategy has been to be a role model and resource but otherwise not offer unsolicited advice. Whether it is asking to eat in a restaurant with healthier food options or scheduling a get together after I exercise, I don't preach but I also don't get dragged into doing things that I know I will regret.

I also try to be open with my friends and family about the motivations for my lifestyle choices as well as the difficulties in maintaining that lifestyle. It is important for those looking at making changes to know that everyone has off days. The key is in not letting an off day become an off week followed by an off month. As I have posted here, some days the fear of my family's history of high blood pressure related kidney failure gets me out for my run, while on other days it is my desire to drop those last 5 pounds. They are all valid reasons and anyone considering making major lifestyle changes will have their own reasons. In fact the more reasons the better because what motivates one day might not the next.

If and when the subject of weight and exercise come up, I try to be understanding and honest with friends and family about the risks that their choices create. While not telling someone what to do, I try to encourage and support anyone in making changes. Whether it is meeting them at the gym so the weight room seems a little less intimidating or offering to share recipes, I hope that by doing and not just talking I will improve not only my own health but the health of others.

Practice

Practice

• carry out or practice; as of jobs and professions
• a customary way of behavior
• drill: learn by repetition
• rehearse
• translating an idea into action
• commit: engage in or perform
• knowledge of how something is usually done
  

While attending a stress resiliency seminar recently I was struck by the word practice. The speaker was urging us to practice the skills he was discussing. As one of the long term skills discussed was meditation, I remembered that some people refer to their yoga practice, while others simply do yoga.

I practiced medicine for 14 years. It is interesting that certain professions have practices, like physicians and attorneys, while others, electricians for instance, have a trade. Using the word practice connotes the idea that with continual learning and repetition one's skills improve. Being a practice, it seems to me, also implies that one never actually finishes learning. There is always room for more practice and further improvement.

Which might also mean that practice does not make perfect. The greater the dedication to practice, the more one realizes that there is always room for improvement. The dedicated practitioner of any art or profession, whether a musician, athlete or physician, will claim that they are mere students and still have much to learn. It is in the process of learning and study that one gains a deeper understanding of oneself and a deeper respect for the complexity of one's chosen area of practice. As a society we often value perfection but not the time and hard work that practice requires. In doing so we also miss out on the valuable lessons that can be learned from practice itself.

Practice what you preach. This is probably my greatest hurdle. Here the term practice refers both to the translating of an idea into action as well as the concept of making something one's customary way of behavior. So while I often preach the value of 5 servings of fruits and vegetables daily, making this my usual custom, my daily practice, has been much harder.

By looking at why something is difficult and better understanding how one has come to the difficulty, one can better understand how to improve. Whether by an active decision (I don't like vegetables), or passive neglect (I don't have time to go to the store), we all are responsible for our decisions. Using the concept of practice allows us to rehearse our new behaviors and commit to them with a better understanding of ourselves. When we fully understand our values and how to put them into action we have the opportunity to live in harmony, to truly practice not only what we preach but what we believe. Don't miss out on the value of practice in enriching your life.

In that spirit, my favorite motto is practice not perfection.

Playing for Pace

I often use music in my life. Some loud rock and roll helps make boring chores more bearable, and a little blues always lifts my mood. I often run with my tunes and love sharing all kinds of music with my indoor cycling classes. I also find that I automatically run to the beat of the music if it is close to my natural running tempo. With that in mind I have begun a campaign to improve my running speed by increasing my foot turnover rate. Studies have shown that fast runners seem to graviate to a turnover rate of 90-95 foot strikes per minute per foot. There is a belief that this is some sort of ideal match between effort and efficiency. As well there have been some recent suggestions that walkers should aim for 100 total steps per minute to achieve the best results from their walking programs.

With this in mind, my list this week is 10 songs with a tempo of 80-90 beats per minute. My plan is to mix them into my running workouts and pick up the pace when they appear, slowing down if needed to recover afterwards. To make the list all the songs needed to have an easy beat to follow and get moving right from the get go. Only "Lose Yourself" has a longer intro, the rest get you going from the start. As I get stronger I hope to put in a few more in the faster tempo range but that will be for another post.

1. She's A Rebel, Green Day, 84bpm
2. Always Where I Need To Be, The Kooks, 84 bpm
3. Straight to My Heart, Sting, 84 bpm
4. Can't Look Down, Zox, 86 bpm
5. Someday Baby, Bob Dylan, 86 bpm
6. Black and White Town, Doves, 88 bpm
7. Lose Yourself, Eminem, 88 bpm
8. Misery Business, Paramore, 88 bpm
9. Runnin' Down A Dream, Tom Petty, 88 bpm
10. Rompe, Daddy Yankee, 90 bpm
    

Why Am I Doing This ?

I was at my local track yesterday running laps. I have been having some knee pain and will be seeing my Sports Medicine doc on Tuesday. By running on a flat, smooth and even surface I was hoping to figure out when and how my knee starts hurting. Like many people I like to have a diagnosis in mind before I see my doc. Crazy, I know, but I like to feel that I have some modicum of control in the situation.

I had gotten it in my head about 18 months ago that I wanted to run a half marathon to celebrate my 50th birthday. I trained all winter and successfully completed my race on February 22nd in Hyannis Mass. It was great fun, except for this right knee pain that started in during the last mile or so. Like any good physician I tried to ignore it. Only I couldn't, it started back even more intensely and even sooner, each time I ran. Reluctantly, I took 3 weeks off running and yesterday was my test run to see how it felt.

While running yesterday I realized that I am embarrassed to see my doc. Competing in races connotes a certain confidence in one's ability. A sense that you are an athlete, even a competitive athlete. And while I am a competitive person, I will never be a competitive athlete. There is also the issue of training, which takes a lot of time and some would say a certain amount of selfishness also. An inner voice tells me it is silly for a 50 year old woman to run half marathons, never mind my summer goal of an Olympic distance triathlon. Silly especially when you run as slow as I do. So why bother?

I did my first sprint triathlon in 2002 as a challenge to myself. I kept it up for one additional season and then the novelty wore off and life started getting in the way of the training. I continued to exercise but not with the rigor that training for a goal brings. Setting the half marathon goal this year helped bring that focus back. I like setting challenges for myself and pushing outside my comfort zone just a bit. The personal sense of accomplishment is wonderful and it carries over into other areas of my life in a good way. I also like losing weight.

When I did my first tri I dropped a good 20 pounds. While I had kept most of it off, those few pounds that had snuck back on disappeared while training this winter. I like to think that I am not exercising just to lose weight, but then again I am worried about the weight returning if I can't run. This contributes to my unease. Is it wrong to admit that you are exercising to lose weight? Hell, even the Surgeon General recommends 30 minutes of exercise most days. There is even that little line about "greater benefits can be achieved by increasing the amount...".

Since returning to a regular training program I have had to stop my blood pressure meds. Yup, pressure was too low. Isn't that some good news. Yet another motivator to keep going and another worry if my knee keeps hurting.

Somewhere around lap 13 my knee pain started in. Data acquired, I walked a bit and left the track. When I see my doc tomorrow I can explain what is happening and I can also explain why I want to continue training. It is about my weight and my blood pressure and my sense of accomplishment and my mental well being. While one reason may motivate me more than another on any given day, it is all of them that keep me going over time. I don't need to apologize or feel embarrassed. I am doing something that is good for me.

Even the Surgeon General agrees.

Don't Be Fooled

In honor of April Fool's Day this week's ten things:

1. Don't be fooled by numbers, whether it is calories burned, pounds lost or servings eaten, it is only a number. Numbers do not increase or decrease your value as a person.
2. Don't be fooled by shortcuts. If something seems too good to be true, it probably is.
3. Don't be fooled into thinking no one notices. Like it or not you are a role model to your family, your friends and your colleagues. Are you modeling behavior you want to see in others?
   
4. Don't be fooled by self-imposed limits. Are you really too old, too young, too fat, too thin, too whatever to put off trying something you dream about?
5. Don't be fooled by comparisons. Have you made the best effort that you were able to today? Strive to answer yes each day.
   
6. Don't be fooled into thinking your behavior doesn't matter. Big things happen by many people doing small things. Run errands on your bike, recycle, return a kindness.
   
7. Don't be fooled into believing you are alone. Someone, somewhere, is dealing with the same thing. Reach out for help and support from others whether in your family, workplace, actual or virtual community.
8. Don't be fooled by failure. Did your parents tell you to quit after you fell while learning to walk?
9. Don't be fooled by someone else's values. Know what is important to you and honor it.
10. Don't be fooled by tomorrow. It might not come.
    

Lessons From Tonight's Biggest Loser

Although I spent many years practicing Medicine, and have encouraged probably hundreds of people to lose weight, I had never watched the reality television program Biggest Loser. Until now. Since checking out the show when it started this fall, I have become as hooked as anyone. While I resent the product placements and overdone theatrical breaks, there are none the less, many messages that really hit home regarding the struggle to achieve a healthy weight and lifestyle.

In tonight's episode Aubrey was sent home. The mother of several school and preschool age children, she arrived home to tears and vowed to continue her daily workouts. Aubrey cited her desire to be healthy for her children and to be a role model not only for them, but for her massively obese father as her motivation to maintain her training and new lifestyle. She gained nine pounds in her first two weeks home.

When faced with the daily decisions of family life Aubrey found herself putting others before herself. One telling scene showed her stowing her workout gear after her son asked her for homework help as she headed for the gym. Now if she had said "figure it out yourself" and headed out the door, the talk of her being a self-absorbed bad mother would have been flying before the next commercial break. I am not saying what I think she should have done, but it does point out how hard it is to make lifestyle changes that require you to make time for yourself.

As a society we are very quick to judge another's actions and anything that smacks of self promotion or self importance is often labeled as indulgent or selfish. Yet isn't Aubrey's motivation her desire to be healthy and a role model for her children? By always placing herself last on the priority list isn't she modeling that she doesn't count? That healthy behaviors need to take a backseat to everything else, like household chores and homework?

While living at the Biggest Loser ranch the contestants do not have to cope with these daily decisions, yet learning how to integrate new healthy behaviors into their lives at home is the key to maintaining their weight loss. And placing workouts before dishes, or laundry, or even homework is one of the choices they will have to make. It is one that we all have to make. Sure it is easier and quicker to grab some takeout food on the way home from work, but is it going to get you to the weight you want? Is it in line with the type of foods you want to be eating, or feeding to your family?

At the end of tonight's show Aubrey has gotten herself back on track. It probably required some tough decisions, at least a few of which required her to acknowledge her own self-worth and the need to place herself higher on her own list of priorities. It is a lesson we can all learn from. Self care is not the same as selfishness and requires time that has to come from somewhere. Only after we admit that we are important can we give ourselves permission to take the time and make the effort to live the healthy lifestyle we desire. It is not just what we desire, but what we deserve, for ourselves and our families.

Now who said reality TV isn't about real life?

Happy 50th Barbie!

"Wanna play Barbies?" was a frequent refrain of my childhood; so since it is Barbie's 50th birthday today I thought I would check in as I have for all my other childhood friends' big five-oh birthdays. As a fellow 50 year old I thought we might commiserate about our middle aged lives in all it's complexity; sandwiched between kids and parents, careers and dreams, wrinkles and sagging parts; hotflashing our way through boring meetings and never ending car pools.

I guess I was not entirely surprised to find Barbara Millicent Roberts as perky as the day we first met. She is still a long legged 6/3.75/5 without a grey hair in sight. If anything she looked younger at 50 than she did when I first opened her box. And while she remains childless and never could get Ken to commit to marriage, her many careers have given Barbie a varied and interesting life. Who knew that such a small doll could be the subject of so much study, debate and derision.

When Barbie was introduced, at the American International Toy Fair in NYC on this date 50 years ago, she was the first adult doll. Barbie's creator, Ruth Handler, was inspired by her own daughter's role playing using adult paperdolls and Ruth named her creation after her daughter. Intially unpopular with toy designers and buyers, both because of her adult figure and untested toy status, Barbie soon became a sought after toy. Prior to Barbie's introduction, girls had baby dolls but no adult doll with which to act out their imagined adult lives. Now girls not only had an adult doll but one with houses, cars and fabulous clothes.

The original Barbie was clearly an adult woman. While her figure has been the subject of intense study, it is easy to forget that her face was, as Barbie collector Joe Blitman described, "the face of a 40 year old woman who's seen a lot of action". Over the years Barbie's sideways glance has been straightened, her waist widened and her heavy makeup and older face made more youthful. The Barbie I played with 40 years ago is not the same one my own daughters played with 10 years ago. Like any fifty year old, Barbie's look has evolved over time. It's just that Barbie also hasn't aged.

Much has been made of the physical image of Barbie. I have read everything from a normal sized woman with these proportions would not be able to stand up, to her body fat is too low to have normal periods. I doubt that we will ever really know how much Barbie helped set the standards of physical beauty and how much she simply reflected the times in which she was created and recreated. It remains interesting to me that despite all her many careers and new roles many still focus exclusively on her figure. In this single regard she might actually reflect the plight of woman everywhere, still too often judged and remembered for their looks and not enough for their accomplishments.

Happy birthday my old girlfriend and welcome to middle age.

Are You Comfortable? #2

While it is simple and easy to admonish people to “get out of their comfort zones” the actual practice is much more difficult than Nike’s iconic phrase “just do it”. Rather than approaching this difficulty from the perspective of how to get out of our comfort zone, it can be instructive to reflect further on what keeps us there.

Harvard’s, Robert Kegan, a developmental psychologist outlines a method for looking more closely at our resistance to change. In his model, one begins to identify the competing interests and underlying assumptions on which our resistance to change are based. I was recently reminded of some of the assumptions I hold while waiting outside of the aerobics studio at my local Y. I had heard about a rigorous class which combined aerobics and strength training and wanted to give it a try. As I stood among the fit, much younger women outside the classroom door, I began to question my decision to attend. They all knew each other and I worried that I would be an outsider, not fitting in and not able to keep up. As we filed into the room I asked the woman next to me about some class details and was surprised to learn that she too had never attended the class and was as anxious as I was. As the class began I also quickly realized that I was not the only one struggling to keep up and we all had our fitness challenges. I thoroughly enjoyed the class and was glad I had not let my assumptions that I would not fit in or I wasn’t fit enough keep me from trying something new. Until I spoke to my fellow newcomer I wasn't even aware of the unconscious assumptions I was holding about the class and it's participants.

What assumptions are you making by staying in your comfort zones? Do you assume that your family would never eat that healthy stuff, that you could never complete a 5K run, or that you could never return to school to pursue that new career? Why?

As you begin identifying your comfort zones take a few moments to also sleuth out the underlying and often unconscious assumptions that keep you there. You might be surprised by what you find.

Playlist of the Week

This week's playlist could be used for cycling or running. The first two songs are for warm-up. By the end of these two you should be breaking a sweat but still at a moderate exertion level. During the third song, Blind, do pick-ups by alternating 30 seconds of a moderate pace with 30 seconds of a harder pace. This can be achieved by running/pedaling faster or by increasing the resistance. The next four songs, approximately 15 minutes, should be done at a hard pace. Trying getting out of your comfort zone. Recover on Adele and then follow up with another 15 minute interval comprising the next five songs, Howling At The Moon through The Impression That I Get. Take the effort level down to moderately hard for Vertigo and Evil And A Heathen and finally cool off to The Kids Don't Stand a Chance.

Tell Me More Baby/Red Hot Chili Peppers
Love and Memories/O.A.R.
Blind/Talking Heads
Clampdown/The Clash
Always Where I Need to Be/The Kooks
Bounce/The Cab
She Sells Sanctuary/The Cult
Adele/White Mud Free Way
Howling At The Moon/The Ramones
No Way Back/Foo Fighters
Salute Your Solution/The Raconteurs
The Resolution/Jack's Mannequin
The Impression That I Get/The Mighty Mighty Bosstones
Vertigo/U2
Evil And A Heathen/Franz Ferdinand
The Kids Don't Stand a Chance (Chromeo Remix)/Vampire Weekend

Are You Comfortable? #1.

After encouraging my spin class to "move out of your comfort zone" I started thinking about what and where our comfort zones are. Many of us have heard the phrase applied to exercise or sport but in reality we often spend most of our time in our comfort zones. Comfort zones make us feel safe and in control. We know what to expect from ourselves and from others. In venturing out of our comfort zones we risk discomfort, maybe embarassment, even failure. But in minimizing these risks are we also mininizing our rewards?

I recently started looking for my own comfort zones and was surprised to find them everywhere. In my choice of clothing, food, books, even the routes I drive to get places. I was unaware of how many choices I make each day that reflected my desire to avoid risk, to remain comfortable. And while my comfort zones serve me well in many areas, they probably limit me more than I know. By always buying the same fruits and vegetables I might never know how great something else might taste. By shopping in the same big supermarket I will never know what exotic ingredients await me in a smaller neighborhood ethnic market, and if I never get off the main roads I will never find that market either!

I am trying to take note of my comfort zones and examine whether they are a help or a hindrance. By remaining within them am I taking my life in the direction I want to go, or am I letting easy comfort lull me into complacency. By paying more attention to my own comfort zones and examining the effects my comfortable choices have on me, I hope find a way of living that is mine by my choice not by comfortable default. Can you say the same? Are you comfortable?

The Adult Onset Athlete

Okay, I’ll admit it. I used to skip gym class. A lot. Enough so, that I almost didn’t graduate from high school. You see, I used to put off my afternoon class homework until the day it was due. If I couldn’t get it all done between classes, I would skip my morning gym class to finish it. Eventually, my surprised parents received a letter from the school, telling them I was in danger of failing gym, and my early (January) graduation plans were in jeopardy. My English and Social Studies teachers had to suppress their smirks as I explained that I would be skipping their classes, several days that week, in order to take gym, almost all day, in order to graduate. Talk about the punishment fitting the crime.

I grew up in the days prior to Title IX. While there were a few girls’ sports teams at my high school, the choices were limited, and there was not the network of childhood teams & camps you see today. Don’t get me wrong; I was active. Kids didn’t have their own cars, so you biked or walked everywhere. Social activities revolved around skiing, skating, hiking, tennis and swimming. In many ways athletic activity was easy, because it was just part of life, and the adults weren’t involved in running the show. There was no sports burnout, soccer moms or traveling teams.

You can imagine my anxiety then, as I waded into a chilly lake at age 44, to await the starting gun in my first triathlon. I had never been in a competitive sporting event, never mind one with a starting gun. My heart rate monitor showed that my pulse was already into my aerobic range, and I hadn’t even started! I didn’t really know what I was thinking when I signed myself up that January, for the Danskin Women’s Triathlon. There was something about those double 4s that just made me want to do something that pushed my limits. Something I wasn’t sure I could even do. I chose something athletic.

I’m not sure where I first heard the term “adult-onset athlete”. As a physician it just struck a chord with me. I had been trained to recognize and treat many diseases which begin in adulthood. This seemed like the perfect tongue in cheek description of the older first time athlete. One who often begins exercising to control their weight, or in hopes of bringing down a borderline blood pressure or cholesterol. In my own practice I had often encouraged my patients to begin exercising. Sometimes it is hard to take your own advice.

The funny thing, though, is that what begins as a means to an end- weight loss, a better blood pressure, a lower blood sugar- quickly becomes something else entirely. The joys in cycling through verdant farm land or running along a seaside path soon become more powerful motivators than any cholesterol reading. The profound sense of accomplishment brought by finishing your first 5K or triathlon is even greater for the adult onset athlete because we have no history of such accomplishments.

I certainly wasn’t the fastest finisher. But I did it. My medal still hangs in my closet where I can see it, especially when I’m feeling old, and slow, and tired. And it makes me smile, and feel a little proud. There are a lot of rewards in being an adult onset athlete. So get out there. Experience them for yourself.