Are You Comfortable? #2

While it is simple and easy to admonish people to “get out of their comfort zones” the actual practice is much more difficult than Nike’s iconic phrase “just do it”. Rather than approaching this difficulty from the perspective of how to get out of our comfort zone, it can be instructive to reflect further on what keeps us there.

Harvard’s, Robert Kegan, a developmental psychologist outlines a method for looking more closely at our resistance to change. In his model, one begins to identify the competing interests and underlying assumptions on which our resistance to change are based. I was recently reminded of some of the assumptions I hold while waiting outside of the aerobics studio at my local Y. I had heard about a rigorous class which combined aerobics and strength training and wanted to give it a try. As I stood among the fit, much younger women outside the classroom door, I began to question my decision to attend. They all knew each other and I worried that I would be an outsider, not fitting in and not able to keep up. As we filed into the room I asked the woman next to me about some class details and was surprised to learn that she too had never attended the class and was as anxious as I was. As the class began I also quickly realized that I was not the only one struggling to keep up and we all had our fitness challenges. I thoroughly enjoyed the class and was glad I had not let my assumptions that I would not fit in or I wasn’t fit enough keep me from trying something new. Until I spoke to my fellow newcomer I wasn't even aware of the unconscious assumptions I was holding about the class and it's participants.

What assumptions are you making by staying in your comfort zones? Do you assume that your family would never eat that healthy stuff, that you could never complete a 5K run, or that you could never return to school to pursue that new career? Why?

As you begin identifying your comfort zones take a few moments to also sleuth out the underlying and often unconscious assumptions that keep you there. You might be surprised by what you find.