Lessons From Tonight's Biggest Loser

Although I spent many years practicing Medicine, and have encouraged probably hundreds of people to lose weight, I had never watched the reality television program Biggest Loser. Until now. Since checking out the show when it started this fall, I have become as hooked as anyone. While I resent the product placements and overdone theatrical breaks, there are none the less, many messages that really hit home regarding the struggle to achieve a healthy weight and lifestyle.

In tonight's episode Aubrey was sent home. The mother of several school and preschool age children, she arrived home to tears and vowed to continue her daily workouts. Aubrey cited her desire to be healthy for her children and to be a role model not only for them, but for her massively obese father as her motivation to maintain her training and new lifestyle. She gained nine pounds in her first two weeks home.

When faced with the daily decisions of family life Aubrey found herself putting others before herself. One telling scene showed her stowing her workout gear after her son asked her for homework help as she headed for the gym. Now if she had said "figure it out yourself" and headed out the door, the talk of her being a self-absorbed bad mother would have been flying before the next commercial break. I am not saying what I think she should have done, but it does point out how hard it is to make lifestyle changes that require you to make time for yourself.

As a society we are very quick to judge another's actions and anything that smacks of self promotion or self importance is often labeled as indulgent or selfish. Yet isn't Aubrey's motivation her desire to be healthy and a role model for her children? By always placing herself last on the priority list isn't she modeling that she doesn't count? That healthy behaviors need to take a backseat to everything else, like household chores and homework?

While living at the Biggest Loser ranch the contestants do not have to cope with these daily decisions, yet learning how to integrate new healthy behaviors into their lives at home is the key to maintaining their weight loss. And placing workouts before dishes, or laundry, or even homework is one of the choices they will have to make. It is one that we all have to make. Sure it is easier and quicker to grab some takeout food on the way home from work, but is it going to get you to the weight you want? Is it in line with the type of foods you want to be eating, or feeding to your family?

At the end of tonight's show Aubrey has gotten herself back on track. It probably required some tough decisions, at least a few of which required her to acknowledge her own self-worth and the need to place herself higher on her own list of priorities. It is a lesson we can all learn from. Self care is not the same as selfishness and requires time that has to come from somewhere. Only after we admit that we are important can we give ourselves permission to take the time and make the effort to live the healthy lifestyle we desire. It is not just what we desire, but what we deserve, for ourselves and our families.

Now who said reality TV isn't about real life?

Happy 50th Barbie!

"Wanna play Barbies?" was a frequent refrain of my childhood; so since it is Barbie's 50th birthday today I thought I would check in as I have for all my other childhood friends' big five-oh birthdays. As a fellow 50 year old I thought we might commiserate about our middle aged lives in all it's complexity; sandwiched between kids and parents, careers and dreams, wrinkles and sagging parts; hotflashing our way through boring meetings and never ending car pools.

I guess I was not entirely surprised to find Barbara Millicent Roberts as perky as the day we first met. She is still a long legged 6/3.75/5 without a grey hair in sight. If anything she looked younger at 50 than she did when I first opened her box. And while she remains childless and never could get Ken to commit to marriage, her many careers have given Barbie a varied and interesting life. Who knew that such a small doll could be the subject of so much study, debate and derision.

When Barbie was introduced, at the American International Toy Fair in NYC on this date 50 years ago, she was the first adult doll. Barbie's creator, Ruth Handler, was inspired by her own daughter's role playing using adult paperdolls and Ruth named her creation after her daughter. Intially unpopular with toy designers and buyers, both because of her adult figure and untested toy status, Barbie soon became a sought after toy. Prior to Barbie's introduction, girls had baby dolls but no adult doll with which to act out their imagined adult lives. Now girls not only had an adult doll but one with houses, cars and fabulous clothes.

The original Barbie was clearly an adult woman. While her figure has been the subject of intense study, it is easy to forget that her face was, as Barbie collector Joe Blitman described, "the face of a 40 year old woman who's seen a lot of action". Over the years Barbie's sideways glance has been straightened, her waist widened and her heavy makeup and older face made more youthful. The Barbie I played with 40 years ago is not the same one my own daughters played with 10 years ago. Like any fifty year old, Barbie's look has evolved over time. It's just that Barbie also hasn't aged.

Much has been made of the physical image of Barbie. I have read everything from a normal sized woman with these proportions would not be able to stand up, to her body fat is too low to have normal periods. I doubt that we will ever really know how much Barbie helped set the standards of physical beauty and how much she simply reflected the times in which she was created and recreated. It remains interesting to me that despite all her many careers and new roles many still focus exclusively on her figure. In this single regard she might actually reflect the plight of woman everywhere, still too often judged and remembered for their looks and not enough for their accomplishments.

Happy birthday my old girlfriend and welcome to middle age.

Are You Comfortable? #2

While it is simple and easy to admonish people to “get out of their comfort zones” the actual practice is much more difficult than Nike’s iconic phrase “just do it”. Rather than approaching this difficulty from the perspective of how to get out of our comfort zone, it can be instructive to reflect further on what keeps us there.

Harvard’s, Robert Kegan, a developmental psychologist outlines a method for looking more closely at our resistance to change. In his model, one begins to identify the competing interests and underlying assumptions on which our resistance to change are based. I was recently reminded of some of the assumptions I hold while waiting outside of the aerobics studio at my local Y. I had heard about a rigorous class which combined aerobics and strength training and wanted to give it a try. As I stood among the fit, much younger women outside the classroom door, I began to question my decision to attend. They all knew each other and I worried that I would be an outsider, not fitting in and not able to keep up. As we filed into the room I asked the woman next to me about some class details and was surprised to learn that she too had never attended the class and was as anxious as I was. As the class began I also quickly realized that I was not the only one struggling to keep up and we all had our fitness challenges. I thoroughly enjoyed the class and was glad I had not let my assumptions that I would not fit in or I wasn’t fit enough keep me from trying something new. Until I spoke to my fellow newcomer I wasn't even aware of the unconscious assumptions I was holding about the class and it's participants.

What assumptions are you making by staying in your comfort zones? Do you assume that your family would never eat that healthy stuff, that you could never complete a 5K run, or that you could never return to school to pursue that new career? Why?

As you begin identifying your comfort zones take a few moments to also sleuth out the underlying and often unconscious assumptions that keep you there. You might be surprised by what you find.

Playlist of the Week

This week's playlist could be used for cycling or running. The first two songs are for warm-up. By the end of these two you should be breaking a sweat but still at a moderate exertion level. During the third song, Blind, do pick-ups by alternating 30 seconds of a moderate pace with 30 seconds of a harder pace. This can be achieved by running/pedaling faster or by increasing the resistance. The next four songs, approximately 15 minutes, should be done at a hard pace. Trying getting out of your comfort zone. Recover on Adele and then follow up with another 15 minute interval comprising the next five songs, Howling At The Moon through The Impression That I Get. Take the effort level down to moderately hard for Vertigo and Evil And A Heathen and finally cool off to The Kids Don't Stand a Chance.

Tell Me More Baby/Red Hot Chili Peppers
Love and Memories/O.A.R.
Blind/Talking Heads
Clampdown/The Clash
Always Where I Need to Be/The Kooks
Bounce/The Cab
She Sells Sanctuary/The Cult
Adele/White Mud Free Way
Howling At The Moon/The Ramones
No Way Back/Foo Fighters
Salute Your Solution/The Raconteurs
The Resolution/Jack's Mannequin
The Impression That I Get/The Mighty Mighty Bosstones
Vertigo/U2
Evil And A Heathen/Franz Ferdinand
The Kids Don't Stand a Chance (Chromeo Remix)/Vampire Weekend

Are You Comfortable? #1.

After encouraging my spin class to "move out of your comfort zone" I started thinking about what and where our comfort zones are. Many of us have heard the phrase applied to exercise or sport but in reality we often spend most of our time in our comfort zones. Comfort zones make us feel safe and in control. We know what to expect from ourselves and from others. In venturing out of our comfort zones we risk discomfort, maybe embarassment, even failure. But in minimizing these risks are we also mininizing our rewards?

I recently started looking for my own comfort zones and was surprised to find them everywhere. In my choice of clothing, food, books, even the routes I drive to get places. I was unaware of how many choices I make each day that reflected my desire to avoid risk, to remain comfortable. And while my comfort zones serve me well in many areas, they probably limit me more than I know. By always buying the same fruits and vegetables I might never know how great something else might taste. By shopping in the same big supermarket I will never know what exotic ingredients await me in a smaller neighborhood ethnic market, and if I never get off the main roads I will never find that market either!

I am trying to take note of my comfort zones and examine whether they are a help or a hindrance. By remaining within them am I taking my life in the direction I want to go, or am I letting easy comfort lull me into complacency. By paying more attention to my own comfort zones and examining the effects my comfortable choices have on me, I hope find a way of living that is mine by my choice not by comfortable default. Can you say the same? Are you comfortable?